Why willpower or good intentions are no remedy for treatment of trichotillomania + what you can do DIFFERENTLY right now!

Are you looking for a trichotillomania cure – treatment for trichotillomania? Let us help you through either self-help products or individual coaching / therapy to overcome your hair pulling disorder.

trichotillomania treatment - frustration by trying to overcome hairpulling through willpowerI recently read an article on Hindustantimes in India that mentioned how a young girl who suffers from Trichotillomania – hair picking was taken into a hospital as a result of eating her own hair for nearly four years.

Here is a remark from the doctors that operated her from this article:

“We have put her on behavior therapy where the heads of patients are covered to control their urge to pluck their hair. We also told the parents to encourage her whenever she manages to control her urges to pluck her hair.”

Putting her on behavior therapy is something that I think will work wonderful for this girl in order to help her overcome the urge when done well. However, in my experience, it is almost a mission impossible to encourage her or anyone who suffers from Trichotillomania with anything, because when the urge for pulling out hair is strong enough, you simply do it!

 

How to stop pulling out hair if will power and good intentions don´t work?

So how does one stop pulling out hair if will power and good intentions don´t work? The best advice I can give here consists of two steps. First you have to learn how to break through the urge so it no longer controls you. And secondly, which I believe is key to long term success, you have to learn how to prevent that urge to arise in the first place.

 

Why Trichotillomania: How does the urge for pulling out hair arise?

Why Trichotillomania - How does the urge for pulling out hair ariseThe under laying question when you are looking for treatment for trichotillomania is probably how does the urge for pulling out hair arise in the first place. Why do some people suffer from this and seem at the mercy of this and others not?

Let me answer this question through the answer of one of our clients when we asked her about the working of the behavior for her.

When I am thinking too much I feel pressure in my head which makes me believe that my head is loaded with things I think about. All those things then pile up in my head and I feel it’s full in there and there is no way to get it out.

That pressure that builds up in my head makes me feel restless inside. I just feel that everything piles up and there is no space left anymore for anything else and at a certain stage when the pressure is high enough I will pull out my hair, I think in order to relax.

Kind of the same as if you would put in a needle to let the pressure go.

 

Providing a cure for trichotillomania works on this principle

It’s my experience and that of my colleagues at treatment for trichotillomania – Getting Better, that this principle of tension that builds up which will make you pulling hair out at one time to release is the same for all the people we helped. However, the way this works can be different for everyone.

treatment for trichotillomania and the vicious circle of this hair pulling disorderBecause some of the people will not be aware of this pattern and can sometimes feel completely relaxed when they are pulling out hair. So to them, the relationship with tension at first does not seem to apply.

However, most often, it’s the same tension that has piled up and it’s just when they feel relaxed that unconsciously triggers them to pull out hair and release themselves of the tension build up before which still resides in their body somewhere.

Some people are not aware of this pattern at all, because they are in a kind of trance when they are pulling out their hair. To them, nothing seems to makes sense, because they are hardly aware of doing the behavior while they do it. Now in our experience, this group is a lot smaller, but we have certainly worked with people where this was the case.

In other instances, people build up tension in their bodies at complete different locations. For a lot of our clients it was around their chest, near their throat, but most of them only discovered this when we helped them in this process.

 

Is it really important to understand how this all works to stop pulling out hair?

I personally don’t think it is too important to understand this all if you want to stop pulling out hair. Because all the understanding about the reasons why and how the behavior works won’t do you any good if you have not learned how to change a behavioral pattern that is running like a vicious circle in the background of your mind.

Do you want a trichotillomania cure - there is need to understand everything for overcoming your hair pulling disorderYou have to learn how to change those unconscious behavioral patterns and how to overcome the urge for pulling out hair itself. By equipping yourself with tools how to do this mentally and kind of automatically. But also how to make yourself a stronger person who expresses and lives up to what is important for you.

But also how to interact with people in a better way for yourself, so you stay calm and learn to steer your life in the direction that works good for you. Independent of the good intended opinions of others (with what is good for you) or your own rational / conscious mind.

Instead based on that part of the brain that is running a very great part of our daily life, our subconscious mind. More info on this can be found in this blog post on how quickly effective treatment for trichotillomania can be provided.

 

A first recommended step for overcoming your hair pull disorder that you can start working on right now!

your first step for a trichotillomania cure - how to stop hair pullingHere is something you can start working on right now for overcoming your hair pull disorder that will take you in the right direction. And you don’t always have to understand this logically, but just learn to do it.

Most of us at some stage in our life discover that intuition is always right with hindsight when we listen to it. How does this work? You tell me. But I have made too many mistakes in my life by ignoring my intuition that I have learned my lesson well and will honor my ‘inner voice’.

Is this always easy? Of course not, especially at challenging times.  But I believe even the bible made notice of the fact that you have to learn to trust your heart and not your conscious mind when you want to connect to God.

I believe God resides in you and intuition is God talking to you. If you don’t believe in God, simply replace the word with love. It’s when you start listening to that loving part in you that knows what is best for you and only wants what is best for you, that you are on your way to freedom.

Free from trichotillomania and free from building up tension by honoring your true self. And rest assured that in that process you will have to change some of your existing rules of what you can or cannot do in life :) !

Because it´s not whether something is right or wrong, but if something works well for you. And when you currently build up tension somehow, some of your existing rules might need changing to change your life for the better.

 

What about this as part of a trichotillomania cure that works better and better as you try it on in your own life!

This means that you have to learn to make yourself truly important and learn to please yourself first. And no longer sometimes please others and ignore what you want and is good for you. Because that will build up tension.

treatment of trichotillomania - express your feelingsAnd then you will discover that looking after you is actually a very social action of human kindness. Because all those that are dear to you will benefit when you come from inner strength and peace of mind. For example: a person that feels stressed will quickly yell at his / her child who does something ´wrong´, but a person that is like a Zen monk inside will simply laugh and ´correct´ the situation or simply ignore it as if it does not exist with a smile.

´Strong legs can carry a heavy load, but tensed up legs will collapse rather quickly´. Something to think about the next time you make a decision. Who should I please first?

And I do realize that most of us in society learn that thinking about yourself first is not very social. But I assume when you truly think about this you can find examples in your own life or those of others where this rule not always helps to create internal peace inside.

I trust that as you start looking after yourself first more and more, that in the end, all those who wish you well will support you, even if they may disagree with some of your new decisions at first. And when they need your help, you can now come from strength because you feel peaceful inside.

That is why looking after you first is a very social act! This is what Abraham Maslow already discovered when he studied self-actualized people. People who felt great and were doing great in life!

And as you discover how well this new rule works by applying it in your own daily life, those who might disagree with some of your new decisions at first will realize that at the end of the day, all they want for you is what any parent wants for his or her child: for you to be happy!

And for that we all have to travel our own path in life since we are all unique with our unique gifts and talents. It simply comes with the territory.

With love and wishing you well!

Rik


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About Rik

Rik van Bastelaar is the initiator and founder of Treatment for Trichotillomania - Getting Better to whom this website belongs. His personal mission is to empower people with insights and techniques that allow them to improve the quality of their lives and manifestations. This topic of human potential has always intrigued him and caused him to travel the world to be trained by some of the finest experts in the field of human behavior. To learn from them personally before establishing Treatment for Trichotillomania. Through which he supports people to stop pulling their hair out and get their life back. For more professional background info on Rik and his colleagues you can visit his profile page or the international team page.
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